When Monopoly Attacks
by Travaria
Summary: Ummm its kinda indescribable.....the Gboys Monopoly game gets a little out of hand.....shounen ai 12 34, OOC, silliness, general madness


When Monopoly Attacks  
  
They had suggested Monopoly as a way to keep Duo's mind off of the absent Heero. They thought that it was the perfect solution. It was a simple game composed of one part strategy and one part chance. They figured Quatre would end it in less than an hour at the most which would keep their suffering short and that Duo's agonizing defeat would occupy his mind for the rest of the time he had to wait. Unfortunately they were wrong, they were oh so wrong.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey Duo!" Quatre greeted the unusually quiet braided pilot. "How are you doing."  
  
"Huh? Oh, I'm fine Q, why do you ask?" Duo replied sullenly.  
  
"You've just been so quiet since Heero left. I was worried that you were brooding," Quatre answered. "You know that he'll be back in a few hours, it was a simple mission, he'll be fine." Duo gave Quatre a lopsided grin.  
  
"Yeah, my brain knows all that, but I still can't help worrying, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Quatre said. "But there's no use brooding about it. Why don't we play a board game or something, you know, to keep your mind off of it? I bet I can convince Trowa and Wufei to play Monopoly with us," Quatre coaxed the reluctant Duo.  
  
"Sure," Duo replied with a grin, "Why not."  
  
"Let's go get the others then."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Injustice! I will not comply to this foolish game if I can not be the knife!" Wufei demanded.  
  
"Wufei! The knife isn't even from this game! It's a piece from Clue! You can not mix the game pieces," Quatre explained to his Chinese friend, somewhat impatiently, this argument had been going on for five minutes already.  
  
"Quatre," Trowa began, "Why don't you just let him be the knife?"  
  
"Why not? I'll tell you why not! Because first I'd have to dig around in the attic for the stupid Clue game which he would then tear apart in his impatience to get the stupid knife. Then he would leave the mess for me to clean up and I would almost certainly lose pieces to Clue. Then after we finally get that cleared up Duo is sure to demand that he get a piece from some other game as well. Then I'll have to spend another half an hour digging through the attic to find, I don't know, Disney Sorry or something so that he could be Simba. I am not going through that so that Wufei can satisfy his childish urge to be the stupid knife."  
  
"Jeez Winner all you had to say was 'no' and I would have taken the battleship," Wufei retorted. Quatre groaned and banged his head against the low table they were sitting around. Duo chuckled at him from the safety of the other side of the table where he clutched his precious, *lucky*, top hat in his hands. Trowa gently grabbed Quatre's head and handed him the thimble. Quatre sighed but placed his favorite piece on the board. Wufei slid his battleship next to the thimble and Trowa added the cowboy. Duo reluctantly released his top hat, glaring suspiciously at the others as he placed it on the bored.  
  
"All right," Quatre stated, "Now that that's over with let's discuss which if any extra rules we will be playing with."  
  
"We are definitely doing the money from Free Parking," Duo declared. Everyone hastily agreed knowing that Free Parking was *the best* part of the game.  
  
"What I suggest," Quatre proposed, "is that we play with the Special Winner Rule."  
  
"And what exactly is that?" Duo asked suspiciously.  
  
"Well, you know how the most you can build is a hotel on each space?" Quatre began, the others nodded. "Well the Special Winner Rule allows you to build additional houses or even hotels after you have constructed a hotel. The price of the rent is just the hotel rent added to the cost of however many houses/hotels you have added. So, what do you guys think?" Trowa and Wufei quickly agreed knowing that it would end the game faster. Duo was a little reluctant to add that rule when he was playing against the power hungry Quatre but since the others agreed he decided to just go with the flow.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay," Quatre said. "Since I have graciously agreed to be banker than I do believe that I should go first."  
  
"Excuse me Q, but that is not how the game works," Duo retorted.  
  
"As the property guy you would get to go second," Quatre added.  
  
"Well, in that case I'm all for it!"  
  
"Injustice! We should decide the order by the roll of the dice as the rules dictate you worthless cheaters!" Wufei ranted.  
  
"Woah woah, chill Wu-man," Duo replied cautiously. "If you're really that much against it then we'll roll the dice okay. Here Quatre you roll them first."  
  
Quatre calmly grabbed the two dice and rolled them on the board. He smirked as they landed on a five and a six. "That's eleven for me, there's no way anyone is going to beat that," Quatre taunted. Trowa rolled his eye.er *eyes* at his competitive lover and grabbed the dice. He rolled decent five and three, but he wasn't disappointed, after all once Quatre won he would go second. Duo was next he vigorously shook the dice before rolling them, one die landed on the board it was a six, and the other rolled off of and under the table. Everyone lunged to see it. It was a five, he had tied with Quatre.  
  
"Well well well, Winner it looks like you might not end up on tope after all," Duo smirked. Quatre scowled at him.  
  
"Don't be so upset with Maxwell Winner because you both know that I will roll the winning twelve," Wufei interrupted. Duo and Quatre looked at each other, and rolled their eyes. Wufei grabbed the dice and thinking zen like thoughts rolled the small cubes. They spun on the table for several long seconds before finally dropping into their fated positions. "Kuso! Of all the unjust rolls!! Accursed snake eyes!" Wufei ranted, glaring accusingly at the two dice the stared innocently up at him. Both of them containing only one point.  
  
"Well," Duo drawled, "I guess its time for that tie breaker after all, right Winner" Duo grinned evilly, all worries of Heero temporarily banished from his mind.  
  
~~~~~~~Two Hour Later~~~~~~~  
  
Quatre *glared* at the game board, his left eye beginning to twitch. In his opinion Duo advantage of going first had completely *destroyed* the integrity of Monopoly. Some how the braided baka had managed to get a hold of exactly one property in every single solitary color except for the accursed pathetic dark purple property which Quatre himself had out and out refused to buy the five times he had landed on it! It was like the Monopoly God was laughing at him! Taunting him in his inability to earn a Monopoly. Sure he possessed a large handful of properties and the two utilities and a railroad, but with everyone getting 200 dollars every time they passed Go he couldn't win! At this point, *nobody* could win. Everyone owned one railroad and an assortment of properties. The only un-owned properties were two of the light blues and of course the worthless dark purples. Quatre himself had captured the allusive Boardwalk, but his lucky catch was *worthless* without the Park Place which was secured in Duo's hands. If *Trowa* had possessed Park Place he might have had a chance to obtain it. But no, the braided baka had gotten his hands on it and he was not letting go. To add insult to injury Duo landed on Free Parking practically *every time* he went around the board, and Free Parking was *always* full due to Wufei's extreme bad luck when it came to taxes, Community Chest cards, and Chance cards.  
  
"Kuso! Injustice!!" Wufei snarled as he picked up yet another Chance card. "I will not bend to this biased game board's tyranny any longer!!"  
  
"Wufei just pay the damn poor tax so I can take my turn!" Duo demanded! Wufei glared evilly at him but surrendered the requested 200 dollars to the Free Parking Pot.  
  
"I will win that money back Maxwell, you can't possibly land on Free Parking, eventually it will be my turn and then you will suffer!"  
  
"Whatever Wu-baby," Duo replied flippantly. "Come on dice, be good to me. Oh hey look, I landed on Free Parking again!"  
  
"Why you-" Wufei shouted as he attempted to lunge across the table to attack the braided menace. Trowa's grip on Wufei's tank top was the only thing that saved Duo.  
  
~~~~~~~Two Hours Later~~~~~~~  
  
This couldn't be happening, this could not be happening. He was Quatre, Quatre R. Winner for goodness sake! He had over taken multi-billion dollar companies with less effort than this thrice-damned game was taking. Oh sure he had acquired one of the light blues and Trowa had secured the other, preventing Duo from gaining a slightly worthwhile monopoly but he still had no way to end the game. The tiny rents on the properties were hardly phasing any of his competitors. Only Wufei ever had money problems, problems which stemmed from the jinxed Chance and Community Chest cards, and even his pitiful problems were solved by passing Go. There was now only one property un-owned, as Duo had, on a whim, actually bought Mediterranean Avenue despite its pathetic rent of two dollars. Quatre knew he wasn't the only one bored by this unending game. His koi was buying worthless properties off Wufei to keep him out of the red whenever it looked like he would land on a Chance or Community Chest just to stay awake. The only one who didn't seem bored was Duo, which in retrospect was what he had been aiming for in the first place, even if he hadn't wanted to play for more than an hour much less four, especially if he wasn't winning. Quatre let out a frustrated sigh as Wufei passed Go. The bank was almost out of money, he was paying the 200 in twenties.  
  
And then it was Duo's turn. The turn that changed the course of the game the turn that changed everything. The turn that would forever haunt Quatre as his greatest defeat of strategy. The turn that.well we don't need any more of that do we? Let's just get on with it. Duo rolled a four and a three, he passed Go, he collected 200 dollars in twenties, he bypassed Mediterranean and Community Chest, and landed on.dun dun dun Baltic Avenue. "Alrighty Q, I think I'll buy Baltic," Duo declared cheerfully, a maniac gleam carefully hidden in his violet eyes.  
  
"Duo why are you even bothering?" Quatre demanded, "The rent for that property is 4 dollars. Heck the rent of that property *with* a *hotel* is only 450, you easily have at least three time that much."  
  
"I have my reasons," Duo smirked. Quatre rolled his eyes, but accepted the money. The others took their turns with the usual small rents going around, none of them realizing that Monopoly doom was about to befall them. And then suddenly it was Duo's turn, his perpetual grin grew larger and more maniac as he announced what he wanted.  
  
"Well well well my friends it appears that you have not realized that I, Duo Maxwell, now hold a Monopoly!" Duo announced, proudly flashing them Mediterranean and Baltic.  
  
"Maxwell, who cares," Wufei interrupted, "Those are the cheapest properties on the board. We can all easily afford them even with a hotel on each."  
  
"Well of course you can, but what you fail to realize is that I also have a vast amount of money, and we are playing with the Special Winner Rule," Duo grinned. "And so with my 5000 dollars I am going to make a few little purchases. Now let's see. Each house costs 50 dollars. That's 250 per hotel.I will take sixteen hotels Quatre, for a total of 4000 dollars." Quatre gaped at him in astonishment. "Now let's see that catapults the rent of Mediterranean to 2000 dollars and the rent of Baltic to 3600!" Now all three of them were gapping at him. Duo just grinned evilly and rolled the dice, landing on Free Parking and collecting another 1000 dollars.  
  
~~~~~~~One Half Hour Later~~~~~~~  
  
Trowa and Wufei had both succumbed to Duo's newfound power, he had everything, their properties, their money, their dignity. To add insult to injury, even with his new monopolies Duo refused to build more hotels. He just left the other spaces blank and relied on the dark purples with the eight hotels. Quatre gapped at the board, this couldn't be happening, not to him, he was Quatre, Quatre R. Winner. There had to be some mistake! "I- I, how?" Quatre gasped.  
  
"Oh just give it up Winner you've landed on Baltic, again. You have no more money and all your properties are mortgaged, just surrender. Everyone else has. There's nothing you can do but give it up and admit that I won," Duo taunted.  
  
"But it's just not possible, I never lose, how did this happen!" Quatre moaned.  
  
"Well Q, you have only yourself to blame," Duo grinned. Quatre glared at him.  
  
"He has a good point koi," Trowa added a slight smile playing over his lips. Sure he loved Quatre with all his heart, but the rich boy needed a nice dose of humility.  
  
"Just what is that supposed to mean," the irate Winner heir snapped at his treacherous koi.  
  
"Personally I love the ironic justice of it," Duo replied. "I mean you must have landed on Baltic a dozen times *before* I bought it, but you always passed it up since it was 'a tiny worthless property'. And now you've landed on it one too many times and it has taken its revenge by making you lose," Duo smirked. Quatre's eye began to twitch again as he realized exactly what he had done, and suddenly gentle little Quatre was overcome with an urge to massacre the smug looking braided baka that had the gall to defeat *him* in a strategy game. Trowa seemed to sense his thoughts because just as Quatre threw himself at Duo Trowa grabbed his waist and wrestled him to the ground. Quatre struggled fiercely and Wufei jumped in to help Trowa hold him down. Duo watched for a minute before smirking and doing the only thing he could do in an opportunity like this, he joined in. With in seconds the low table and the nearby couch were over turned, the Monopoly pieces were scattered all over the living room and the boys showed no sign of slowing down or stopping in their fierce free for all wrestling match.  
  
This was the scene that Heero walked in on after his mission. He quirked an eyebrow but decided he really didn't think he wanted to know. With an annoyed sigh he pulled his braided lover out of the fight and hauled him upstairs to their room. The others didn't even notice. Duo ginned at his koi. "Welcome home Heero," he said with a wink. "How was your mission?"  
  
"Not nearly as interesting as what was going on downstairs," Heero replied giving Duo a look. "What happened and did you start it?"  
  
"Actually Quatre started it," Duo answered. Heero gave him a skeptical look. "No I'm serious! Apparently Blondie really can't stand someone beating him in Monopoly." Heero snorted and rolled his eyes, deciding again that he really didn't want the whole story.  
  
~THE END~ 


End file.
